The Fantasy Rules of Engagement

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I'm a stickler for the rules. The rules of the road, the rules of polite behavior, the rules of good social media etiquette, the rules of Scrabble (stop playing foreign words, damn it!)... I don't see them as just arbitrary limits on one's freedom, but usually as a logical means of creating order or preventing an evil. When they exist, they usually exist for a reason. And no matter what kind of rules we're talking about, before you can break them, you should at least understand why they're there in the first place.

Now, as any avid reader of fantasy knows, there are rules to fantasy literature, as well. They may not be carved in stone and there are plenty of rule violators out there who do quite well. But generally, the people who break the rules of the fantasy genre fall into two categories: (1) total newbs who had no idea there were rules in the first place and (2) genius-types who can expertly turn such rules upside down, usually for a specific purpose or with such cleverness that nobody minds.

When two fantasy-themed TV shows, "Once Upon a Time" and "Grimm", came traipsing into my life, rules were the last things on my mind. My nerdy heart was all a-flutter at the notion of the genre I so love filling my TV screen as artfully as it filled the pages of my favorite books. "At last," I thought, "television shows that cater to my interests. Let the magic-wielding mayhem begin!"

Then cue my dawning disappointment. Apparently, the writers of these shows didn't get the memo about the fantasy genre having rules. Episode after episode, I waited to see that there was something up their sleeves I wasn't expecting, some trick that would make me see they were the genius-types and not just clueless newbs who wanted to play recklessly in the fantasy playground. Unfortunately, two seasons into both shows, it's not looking good.

So as a learning experience and to explain how I went so quickly from devotee to disenchanted, I am going to go through exactly what some of the rules are, how the shows have broken them, and why the violations are problematic.

RULE 1: MAGICAL VILLAINS NEED LIMITS

"Don't mind me and my lightning hands and my monster steed. 
I'm a pushover underneath all this majestic awesomeness."

Original image found here.

The Rule: Whenever you're putting a mystical black hat into play, setting out his or her weakness is almost as important as picking out a properly villainous name. (Nobody cowers from the Vile Wizard Herbert.) True, it can be a psychological one- arrogance can cause a villain to underestimate his opponent, or perhaps he's got issues that make him get sloppy when the hero's taunts strike a nerve- but generally, when it comes to magic-users, magic should also come with a cost. It can be physical pain, a fatigue that sets in, a narrow range of abilities, or the limitation that a spell dissipates from the mind after use and has to be relearned. It could also be that their power is bound to a physical object that can be taken or destroyed. In the end, it doesn't matter what it is, it just has to be there.

The Reason: Imagine you're reading a fantasy novel you just picked up at the bookstore and you're really digging it. The quality of the writing is stellar and you totally relate to the main character. Then the villain walks in in chapter two. It turns out he's an all-powerful demigod with every magical gift under the sun who can keep flinging bad voodoo 'til the cows come home. 

Maybe now you're wondering how this guy can EVER lose. Also, maybe you're thinking even if He Of The Limitless Power can be taken down, it's not gonna be by some plucky chump with a sword like the main character. So while you want the hero to save the day, if he/she does win, it's gonna seem pretty darned improbable. 

One might keep reading after that, waiting for the villain's Achilles' heel to be revealed. But if you're only getting mounting awe at the villain's magical prowess with no sign of any advantage to the hero in sight after a certain number of pages, the book in your hands is eventually going to start looking like a 500-page waste of time. And in TV terms, magnify that loss of time by multiple episodes across several seasons. Now let's all hit the "do not record" button on our DVRs together.

The Rule-Breaker: "Once Upon a Time" is the primary offender.

How it's a problem: In the fantasy world of "Once Upon a Time", Regina is the evil queen from Snow White. They make it readily apparent from the start that she is so much more than a vain royal who clocks in too much mirror time; she's also a sorceress of boundless talent. She disappeared into thin air when Prince Charming threw his sword at her at his wedding. She cast the curse that banished the fairy tale characters to the magickless limbo they now inhabit in our world. She attacked the guards in Wonderland with plant life and she poisoned Snow White's apple with a sleeping spell. She ripped out the Huntsman's heart and eventually squished it into gooey bits. And she also seems to know everything that's going on in her world with the possible exception of where that pesky stepdaughter of hers has gotten to. With her limitless range of abilities and no sign of any spellcaster's fatigue, one has to wonder how even decent fighters like Charming and Snow could ever get the better of her. 

It was more acceptable in season one, which was dominated by the magickless setting of Storybrook, Maine. There, Regina was limited to whatever small magicks she'd brought with her and her own guile. Then season two brought the magic into our world, and suddenly the only limit on Regina's ability to kick good guy ass is that her magic is a little more unpredictable and she doesn't want to upset her adopted son. And as we all regard her newfound self-control dubiously and remember that this is the same woman who had her husband assassinated, sent a man to cut out her stepdaughter's heart, and stabbed her own father, Regina's mother, Cora, has come into play in the fantasy world. And Cora is even worse than Regina when it comes to appearing to have no discernible limit to her magical prowess. 

Too long, the show has progressed without it being readily apparent how anyone can get the drop on these two. At this point, I worry that no matter how much I admire Emma, Snow, Charming, and the gang, there is no way in Hell that they should be able to defeat these bad mojo-wielding mamas. If there were going to be limits or rules governing Regina and Cora's magic, they should've long since manifested. At this point, even if they're mentioned, they're going to seem like an afterthought. And that's just sloppy world-building.

On a related note...

RULE 2: THE HERO SHOULD BE UP TO THE TASK

Hey, this guy may not be in shape like Superman, but he 
can sure kick the Sunday crossword puzzle's ass!

Original image found here.

The Rule: Whenever you've got a bad guy engaged in a reign of terror and you meet the guy who's gonna make it all come to an end, you usually need some indication of why this guy will succeed where everyone else has failed. Is he a good fighter? Does he have some mystical destiny? Does he have good information about the villain's aforementioned weaknesses? What makes the hero so damn special, after all?

The Reason: Mostly, it just seems like less of an admirable feat for our main character to defeat his nemesis if it seems like dumb luck or that anybody with a pulse could've managed it. And you have to wonder, if it's that easy, why didn't someone else step up? So you need to know exactly what the hero has going for him that makes him uniquely suited to his quest.

The Rule-Breaker: I'm looking at you, "Grimm." 

How it's a Problem: I've said it before and I'll say it again: I do not understand why all the supernatural creatures on "Grimm" are terrified of Nick. He can see them, sure. He also has what amounts to a supernatural burn book ("Ooo, those hexenbiests are vicious bitches!") and an arsenal of ye olde weaponry. So he definitely has the right tools. But still, he's fighting things that look like were-animals, complete with slashing teeth and claws and some of whom have magic and/or poison, in addition to enhanced senses and supernatural strength. And yet our good-looking but otherwise seemingly normal cop seems to take them down with relative ease. 

HOW?! What is the big stinking deal about being a Grimm? If there's something else to it, I really should've found out before the second season began. Otherwise, it's like reading a Spiderman comic and not finding out that he actually has superpowers until issue 10. How many people would've stuck around that long thinking our hero was just a quippy dude in spandex?

Without knowing why Nick is uniquely suited to his mission, I don't quite believe that he is. And every single episode, as I watch him take down yet another monster, I wonder why just about anyone with his aunt's book, a crossbow, and a set of magical beer goggles couldn't accomplish the same thing.

RULE 3: MAGIC SHOULD HAVE LOGIC

"Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a madman out of this hat!"
Original image found here. 

The Rule: While magic has an inherently surreal quality that allows it to defy all the laws of physics and reason, it should not be utterly devoid of logic. There should always be a structure governing any magical system. We should be able to tell, to some extent, where the magic comes from and how it works. Do your spellcasters have to mumble arcane words memorized from books? Do they operate using potions or enchanted objects? Do they possess an innate gift for magic, or can anyone who has the right book and ingredients start conjuring away? How does it all work? And once you explain the mechanics, you have to stick to them. If we're talking about spellbooks and crystal balls, I'm going to call shenanigans if suddenly someone just points a finger and starts spouting lightning bolts. This same rule applies to magical artifacts and beings. Everything has rules to follow. 

The Reason: In some ways, this loops back around to rule # 1. We need to know how it works to know what to expect from the magically gifted and the objects we encounter. It helps guide our understanding of the plot and set up the battles knowing what each party is capable of. How things work out, or don't work out, then makes sense within this magical system. Otherwise, your story will seem like the fantasy equivalent of a Michael Bay film- all random explosions, gunfire, and ass-kicking without a point.

The Offender: If you noticed my thinly veiled rage about Jefferson's hat in my earlier post, you know this is about "Once Upon a Time."

How it's a Problem: From day one, I could not completely understand how Regina's magic operated. Some things she accomplished just because she wanted to, like her disappearing or manipulating shrubberies. Some things, like the curses she cast, seemed to require book learnin' and perhaps a trip to the apothecary's. So I'm not entirely sure how magic works in the fairy tale world.

I thought I understood how magic worked in Storybrook in season one. Because, well, it didn't. That's what everyone kept saying, right? Then Regina smooshes the heart of the local sheriff- and countless fangirl hearts with it- and I am all kinds of puzzled. OK, obviously, she's still got some tricks then, yes? 

Enter the enchanted objects, such as Jefferson's hat. Jefferson, a.k.a. the Mad Hatter, can't seem to make his lovely little felt wormhole work properly because there's just no magic in our world. Cue his plan to kidnap Emma, the sole individual from the fairy tale world who has any resistance to the curse. He is convinced that Emma can make the hat work again. Emma is a little more skeptical, but she gets to craftin', 'cause, you know, he has weapons and a hostage. Then Jefferson gets shoved out of a window and appears to have disappeared into the hat...

...only to pop up a few episodes later telling Regina that he can't make the hat work on account of the lack of power in this world. But... but... How is he not all broken up and concussed, then? And how did he manage to disappear after Mary Margaret's act of defenestration? 

Then Regina tells him that she really can't do anything without magical artifacts from the fairy tale world, and she's clean out. So how did the heart thing work, then? Was the heart, itself, an enchanted object when it came into this world? Inquiring minds want to know.

Inquiring minds are also growing tired of waiting for things to make sense. After a time, one wonders if things like Jefferson's semi-functional portal hat were just goofs by the writers, who suddenly decided that they needed the hat not to work to enable a future plot point. And one finds oneself unimpressed by such oversights.

RULE 4: WORLDS SHOULD HAVE DEFINITION

That awkward moment when two worlds collide outside of an 
officially sanctioned game of bumper worlds.

Original image found here.

The Rule: This one is an odd one, because most of the time it doesn't necessarily come up. But if we're talking about a fantasy world that bleeds into other worlds, unless the plot revolves around in jumping from one strange universe to another, it's always good to give the reader a frame of reference. Are we looking at multiple worlds, or two parallel worlds? How easily can one move between them, and what are their limits?

The Reason: Working these details out will sometimes alert you to inconsistencies or plots that reek of random nonsense. Plus, our setting needs to be tied in with what the plot is trying to accomplish and the theme of the work. And if you keep darting to random worlds that seem unrelated and unnecessary, my fantasy jet lag might make me decide to deplane and take a cab back to the real world. FOREVER.

The Offender: Yes, this about "Once Upon a Time" again. Apparently, if this show were to ask the magic mirror who the most rule-breakingest show of all was, the answer would be its own reflection. 

How it's a Problem: "Once Upon a Time" likes to push its limits, and typically, I like that in a show. Because of this, I've let some odd things slide. For instance, despite the show's concept being built on the notion of Grimms' fairy tales, I was okay when we tugged in folks from Wonderland and Neverland. Neither are Grimm creations and both are actually meant to be their own discrete locales, but the essence of the stories about these worlds was similar enough that I was willing to allow it. 

Then somehow Frankenstein got involved. And... I died inside. 

My feelings about this development can best be summed up by a scene in "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy", when the characters are discussing past loves. Trying to be included in the conversation, Brick starts saying he loves the carpet and the desk and the lamp, forcing Ron to inquire, "Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?" 

This about sums it up...

This video was originally found here.

At this point, I feel like Ron Burgundy, with "Once Upon a Time" as Brick. Stroking my impressive mustache, I inquire, "Once Upon a Time, are you just saying random things now? Do you really think Dr. Frankenstein makes sense in this plot or did you just throw it in because you tripped over a copy cleaning out your attic last weekend?" And then I retire in a huff to languish among my many leather-bound books.

There is no rhyme or reason to the inclusion of Dr. Frankenstein as a character in this show. He is not a fairy tale character, there is no real fairy tale theme to his story, and Dr. Frankenstein's world isn't even a discrete world such that it gels with the notion of world-jumping via Jefferson's hat. What's more, we're now genre-jumping, as well, because Frankenstein is generally regarded as a horror story. So not only am I not sure what worlds I'm dealing with here anymore, the inspiration being invoked is creating unsightly thematic inconsistencies even more frightening than Dr. Frankenstein's monster. It's enough to make a gal want to take up a torch and pitchfork in protest.

CONCLUSION

So there you have it; the problems that have bumped these shows from must-see TV to "I guess if I have a lot of time to kill, maybe someday I'll catch up" all boils down to the rules. In TV as in literature, you have to master the game before you can change the rules, and I am not convinced the creative minds behind either show have enough mastery to get away with their shenanigans. 

At this point, it's "so long and thanks for all the fish!" from me as I depart with lessons learned, but then, that's just me. There are probably others who disagree. Maybe you're the type who firmly believes the rules are made to be broken. Or perhaps you think there's a method to the madness that I have somehow overlooked. If so, hit me up in the comments! I may be all about well-defined worlds, but I am wide open to conflicting opinions! 

Of Barn Fires and Magic Gas

All right, I've been off the grid for a while, but very dire things have been consuming my attention. First, we had all the TV season finales, which pretty much absorbed my undivided attention. Without going into excruciating detail, I'll give you a thumbnail sketch of how this season's shows left me:

(Caution- spoilers ahead. TURN BACK NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LA- Aw, you're screwed.)

The Walking Dead- "Beside the Dying Fire"- aired March 18, 2012- Walking Dead went down this season in a blaze of glory, and so did poor Hershel's farm. The body count skyrocketed as all of the red shirts who have been lurking in the background finally got picked off- that means you, Jimmy and Patricia!-  and our heroes had to haul ass to greener, less zombie-filled pastures.

"Hey, we heard you were giving out free wounded chickens!"

Original image found here. 

Highlights included:

1) The survivors jousting, knight-like, from inside of cars, gliding in and out of the fray with the designated shooters hanging of the window;

"Hi-ho, Ford pickup truck, AWAAAAAAY!"

Original image found here. 

2) In the midst of Maggie's nervous breakdown as she and Glenn are separated from the herd, Glenn finally tells the woman he loves her;

"Wow, confessions of love in a parked car always sound more sincere from the front seat."

Original image found here.

3) Angela gets left behind and goes on a marathon flight/zombie-massacre through the woods until she final collapses and is rescued by...

"What happened to my comrades? Well, let's just say that next time they'll think twice before getting handsy with a chick wielding a sword."

Original image found here.

We won't even go into Rick explaining that if they want him to the boss, he's gonna be the biggest boss since Tony Danza (ok, I'm paraphrasing a little...); the shocking revelation that everyone's infected and that any death, even if not from a bite, turns one into the undead; or the slow pan to the prison waiting in the distance, chock full of gym equipment and fresh, undropped soap. The end result? Sheer, unadulterated awesomeness.

If you missed the finale, or any episodes this season, check out the July 7-8 Preview Weekend on AMC, in which we receive a marathon of seasons one and two, fresh doses of Chris Hardwick-y goodness, and sneak peeks at Season 3!!!

Once Upon A Time-"A Land Without Magic"- aired May 13, 2012- "The Walking Dead" wasn't the only show that decided to go all action hero on our pansy asses. "Once Upon A Time" had a few swashbuckling scenes to make sure we were paying proper attention to the thrilling final chapter of season 1.

We returned to the story as Henry lays dying, having bitten the bullet, uh, apple, for Emma to prove to his Scully of a mom that all this magic hooey isn't hooey after all. Nevermind the mysterious accidents when people try to leave, mystical deaths, miraculously waking coma-patients, and the man who did a nose-dive out a window and appeared to have disappeared into his hat. What finally convinces our Doubting Thomas is the fact that Henry's symptoms aren't consistent with poison!

"If a doctor doesn't know what it is, it must be magic!"

"Um, weren't you on 'House'? And was it ever 'magic' on 'House'? Dumbass."

Original image found here.

Finally hip to the fact that she's been living amongst fairy tale creatures and is now going to have to send her roomie Mother's Day cards every year, Emma consults with Rumplestiltskin and discovers that the only way to save Henry is to retrieve the last bit of magic from inside the belly of Maleficent, who is trapped in dragon form below the town. And since Rumplestiltskin/ Mr. Gold has been so incredibly and unswervingly trustworthy all along, of course she runs to do exactly what he suggested.

"How is this not a face you can trust?"

Original image found here.

Meanwhile, back in the fairy tale world, we find out Emma's pops put the damn magic egg inside Maleficent in the first place while doing Rumplestiltskin's bidding. Of course, though, he did it to find a way to track down Snow, so we forgive him. This all leads us inexorably to the anti-climactic moment where he reaches Snow and finds out that she ate the apple and, rather than keeping the doctor away, it put her into a death sleep. They kiss, blah blah blah, and she wakes up and wuvs him dearly. They decide to tie the knot and as a wedding gift to themselves, to take back the kingdoms from their respective non-parents, the Evil Queen and the Not-So-Great-Either King. And kindly enough, nobody points out that Charming is actually really only entitled to inherit a sheep farm, not really being a prince n' all, because that would just be awkward.

"Cause if I told the girlies I was just a sheep farmer fresh out of lockdown, I wouldn't be getting no love, yo."

Original image found here.

Back in the "real world," the Queen has reneged on a promise to help Jefferson get his kid back (who despite diving into his hat when he fell out of a window a few episodes back, is still firmly in the world and recently claimed that the hat doesn't actually work anymore without being fed magic, which we're all going to conveniently overlook). This makes Jefferson angry, and you won't like Jefferson when he's angry, because he knows where you lock up your crazy people. He releases Belle, who Regina's been keeping in the nut house, and tells her to pop by Mr. Gold's and tell him "hallo" and, oh, maybe something about how Regina had her locked away.

This makes Mr. Gold angry and you won't like... Well, you'll never like Mr. Gold no matter what mood he's in, unless you're a weirdo. Or maybe a doe-eyed princess with a purring voice. 

"My eharmony profile says I'm looking for a cackling gold-skinned imp who can spin straw into gold and draft devious magical contracts. No smokers or Tauruses please."

Original image found here.

The upshot is that Emma slays a dragon and is OF COURSE double-crossed by Gold, who steals the egg for himself. Therefore Henry dies and is OF COURSE kissed awake again by his mom. This breaks the curse...

...ish.

The "ish" is due to the fact that the wee fairies are still people-sized, Jiminy is not a cricket, and Snow's 'do is still a bit butch. On the surface, absolutely nothing has changed. But underneath all this seeming of normality, everybody just got their memory back. And boy are they ticked.

We end with Regina in flight and a big magical cloud of gas that signifies magic being brought into this world by Mr. Gold. So while the tables have turned on our Evil Queen now, I get the feeling she's about to turn them yet again back on her lynch mob and get back up to her old tricks again. And her tricks aren't for kids!

PHWEW!

Ok, well, that was way more involved than I meant it to be. Whilst I may sound somewhat skeptical in places regarding "Once Upon a Time" and there are some weird little plot holes I hope they fill at some point, by and large I was suitably amused and impressed by the finale. And of course I loved "The Walking Dead" finale more than a fat kid loves cake.

Others may have let me down a little.

"The New Girl" finale, coming on the heels of fantastically hilarious episode after fantastically hilarious episode, felt a little "waa waa WAAAAAAAAAAH" to me. It seemed like a pointless contrivance to keep Nick and Jess apart to have Caroline zip back in and whisk him away and the "threat" didn't even last long enough to make it believable. The episode still had its funny moments, but after "Jess and Julia," "Injured," the "Fancyman" episodes, and "Kids," this was comparatively weak sauce, my friends. 

"GCB" also went down with a whimper, with a somewhat funny episode involving the ladies getting kidnapped in Mexico and stumbling around the desert in heels, but again, they were foiled by their own prior brilliance. Standing alone, the episode was fun. Compared to what we've seen from these gals in the past... it's C+ work from a straight-A student. 

There were others, but alas, I am fatigued. There's been a lot of to-do on my end since March, all TV-watching aside. I quit my litigator job, moved from Fort Lauderdale to Tallahassee to be a judicial clerk, and broke up with my boyfriend of about 2 and 1/2 years. I also finished my solo edits of the novel I've been writing for 10 years and sent it out to beta readers for testing and wrote a children's book for my nephew I'm hoping to get published. It's all good news, gentle readers. The ex and I were BFFs before he was a BF, so we've just reverted back to form, and things are still good there. Tallahassee is far more my speed, being as I'm a North Florida girl, born and raised, and despite taking a pretty decent pay-cut to make the move, the cost of living is so cheap here I'm pretty much in the same position financially. My new job rocks, the people at work are badass, and I am soooo much less stressed out. I'm also editing the novel I'm co-writing with my buddy, Sabrina, and essentially entering a cyclone of creative activity to rival Picasso's Blue Period. Only slightly less monochromatic. I like my colors, yo. 

In any case, I'll do my utmost to check back in with more nerdy nonsense soon!


P.S. Incidentally, I'll be hitting up Dragon*Con in the ATL come Labor Day Weekend. Hope to see some of my fellow Vixens and Ringers out in full force! Fangirl power!

The Grimm Truth

All right, I started out the fall season excited out of my mind about two new shows based on Grimms' fairy tales. I've always had a weakness for a good fairy tale, and not just those cheery-ass Disney versions, but the darker versions that were originally told back in the day. Like one of the original versions of Sleeping Beauty, in which our heroine awoke not after being smooched, but after giving birth to twins. You just remember that story the next time you bitch about how unpleasant it is to be woken up by an alarm clock.

Anyhow, after having made it almost through the entire first season of both new fairy tale-based shows, I feel like the clear winner between them is "Once Upon a Time." It has its lame moments, but overall, it gets it right. "Once Upon a Time" manages to take just enough from the source material to give us that Grimm flavor, but gives everything a clever enough twist to keep it new and fresh. Plus, the intertwining, overlapping storylines that criss-cross btween our mundane world, where the poor storybook characters have been trapped, and the fairy tale world from whence they came add some interesting layers to the narrative. Not to mention the outstanding talent featured on the show, not only on the regular cast, but popping through in little guest-star-bursts of wonder.  (Examples, you say? You want examples? Well, say hello to Emma Caufield of "Buffy" fame, appearing as the witch from Hansel and Gretel! And isn't it lovely to see Kristin Bauer from "True Blood" as Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty?)

Mirror mirror, on the wall? Who's the best fairy tale show of them all?

pic from: http://static.tvfanatic.com/images/gallery/once-upon-a-time-cast-pic.jpg

"Grimm" is another story. Oh, "Grimm." It's the only one of the two shows to claim the Brothers Grimm in the very title, and yet it does absolutely nothing with their works. Sure, it gave us a few token episodes that reminded us that this whole show has something to do with fairy tales: the pilot with its Little Red Riding Hood plot, "Bears Will Be Bears" with the Goldilocks angle, some Pied Piper action in "Danse Macabre," the Three Little Pigs-themed "Three Bad Wolves," and our Rapunzel episode, "Let Your Hair Down." However, this would be more impressive if this list wasn't only comprised of 5 of 13 episodes. That means more than half of the episodes that have aired so far have been absolutely devoid of any Brothers Grimm-related material. In a show called "Grimm."

This isn't really a complete failing in and of itself. Despite the name, by no means do I think that a show that calls itself "Grimm" needs to be chock full of good fairies, glass slippers, and evil old crones. But it needs to decide to be something instead of meandering back and forth between ideas and occasionally spinning fruitlessly in circles. Does it want to be a show that puts a crime drama twist on fairy tale material or an urban fantasy crime show with absolutely nothing to do with all things Bibbidy Bobbity Boo-ish? When we're alternately faced with a Big Bad Wolf pedophile preying on  a modern day Little Red Riding Hood, a la the former, and then a slew of episodes featuring bee and spider monsters with evil mechanations that bear thwarting a la the latter, the inconsistency grows tiresome. I lost the thread of where this show was coming from and what it was trying to be a long time ago. It's like an indecisive child trying to pick a Halloween costume. Are you a fairy princess or a detective? And yes, wearing a trench coat with a tiara makes you look ridiculous, so decide already.

Where was that woodcutter when Little Red really needed him?

Picture from: http://geek-news.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/grimm-nbc.jpg

Even if they fix that, the folks at "Grimm" also need to map out their mythology a little more clearly. Sure, it's nifty that we have volumes of weird critters with Germanic names populating the world right under our noses... But they're not our main characters. Our main character is a cop who sees weird people, and that appears to be his only talent. This, in and of itself, is problematic. The whole plot is built around the mythic nature of the Grimms and the terror they strike into the hearts of the monsters in our world. But the monsters appear to have powers, raw strength, and animal ferocity. Our Grimm has a gun and a fine moral character. Big whoop. What else do you got, eh? Strength? Speed? Magical intuition? Invisible shields? Can he fly? Speak to the animals? Do anything that might make me believe that a family of Big Bad Wolves somewhere is checking under their beds and in their closets to make sure that no one as scary as Nick Burkhart is there?

So far, the answer is no. He has nothing else about him that makes me believe he's a legendary warrior who monsters live in fear of.

Oh, no, wait. I spoke too soon. Apparently, he can also research, which seems to be how he's managed thus far. So fear him, monsters, or he's going to look up stuff about you in his book! I mean, if I learned anything from G.I. Joe, it's that "Knowing is half the battle!" But the other half needs to be significantly more interesting and make for more compelling TV than watching Nick Burkhart read a book.

Maybe he battles evil with the power of his sexy pout? Did that work for his elderly aunt, too?

This picture borrowed from: http://xfinity.comcast.net/blogs/tv/2011/10/13/real-world-alum-battles-big-bad-wolves-in-grimm/

My advice to "Grimm"? Go back to your roots and try to re-work it from there. Once upon a time, we had a pilot which took the fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood and gave it both the sinister flavor of an original Grimms' fairy tale with enough urban crime drama flavor to make it truly unique. The creepy magic was there in the form of our Big Bad Wolf, but crossing the old school Big Bad Wolf with his real-world modern day equivalent, the pedophile, brought a reality to the plot that made the fairy tale into a metaphor, of sorts. It was clever. It was unsettling. And it was interesting. And while some of the subsequent episodes have roughly meandered in that general direction, none of them have tried to really make that kind of connection since.

So take heed, "Grimm," and show the world that there's more than one fairy tale show out there that can be a force to be reckoned with. Otherwise, your title is going to need to lose an "m" to be truly accurate.